Misha's Blog

Gender-based Fashion and Survival of Humanity

Posted in Miscellaneous, Rant by Misha on March 20, 2014
Metal Hand Bag on eBay


Why is it that women wear purses and men don’t? This gender-based fashion standard has serious implications on our survival as a species. Specifically, I am worried about keeping a cell phone in the pants pocket in utmost proximity to that vulnerable sack that some people revere with the name ‘family jewels’. There is evidence that radio waves can alter genetic information, and that is why individuals who identify as women and carry their phones in a purse are better off themselves and are also helping to maintain the integrity of humanity.

Have you heard about the Danish experiment designed by several girls which showed that plants don’t grow near WiFi? Wireless Internet, cell phone signals, and many other communication spectra fall under the general realm of radio, which is a type of radiation. And radiation can cause mutation. I’ve heard that it is healthier for the brain to wear a hands-free headset when talking on the cell phone. So why are so many people still packing this gadget right next to their junk like a confused marsupial pouching a radioactive baby?

Generally speaking, human females have their ovaries tucked away inside their body and I speculate that their DNA might be safer from cell phone interference. So if anyone needs some kind of purse to keep their phone at bay it is the men, especially if they are planning to reproduce. Why would we want the genetic integrity of our species to be manipulated by these all-permeating waves of potentially dubious cultural information? What kind of junk email downloads are mutating our chromosomes? It is time to popularize a male style of purse&#8212or for more people to identify as female&#8212and to critique fashion from the stance of informational integrity in general.

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